


Dinner with the Kaibas

by SerenaJones



Series: Sow and Reap [6]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M, Family Fluff, Gen, Karaoke, M/M, Multi, Yugi is competitive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28532847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenaJones/pseuds/SerenaJones
Summary: While having a simple family dinner, the extended Kaiba family finds a karaoke battle of the sexes. War is on like Donkey Kong.
Series: Sow and Reap [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055195





	Dinner with the Kaibas

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sectioning this one. It is a total work in progress. If you have any song suggestions, they are totally welcome. Any scene/song not written is up for grabs. This is several years after Sow and Reap, so spoilers if you haven't read that.

Dinner With the Kaibas

It was Thursday evening, only 7pm, but late for the merchants just north of K Street. Farther north, near Dupont Circle, the bars and restaurants were just beginning their dinner hours. But here, where the Connecticut Avenue business crowd had already gone home, it was almost closing time. Ray's Lame Duck was one of the few still serving after 6 - 'worth working overtime' their sign proclaimed.

"Mr. Kaiba, this is -"

"Perfect." Joey cut the man off, looking at the menu posted by the door. "They got salads for William, crab for Auset, and the rest usually eat pizza or burgers anyway."

"Yes, I understand. There are several better quality family-friendly restaurants only a short cab ride from here. I wouldn't want you to leave the city thinking this is the best -"

"We won't," Honda assured him. "But Joey's right. We're here, the kids haven't eaten -"

"You haven't eaten," Anzu snickered.

"- and this place reminds me of that noodle dive in Domino."

"Johnson, you aren't familiar with my family." Seto smiled indulgently. "But I'm afraid that we are eating here whether I wish to or not. I am one of those men with no power in my own home."

Johnson laughed. "Ah, yes, well you are not alone there, Mr. Kaiba."

"Would you like to join us, Mr. Johnson?" Yugi asked.

"We understand if you've had enough of them for one day," Mai laughed. "So don't feel obligated."

" _Momma, can we eat now_?" Valentine asked in Japanese.

"In English, sweetheart," Anzu reminded her. "We have a guest."

"Oh, don't worry about -"

"Is Mr. Johnson going to eat with us?" Valentine asked in the correct language.

"Can we just go in?" Auset groaned. "We look like losers just standing here!"

"OMG, I know, right?!" Hianko agreed.

"Fine! In!" Honda opened the door and shooed the group in.

Ryou maneuvered to the hostess looking at the large party in shock. "Good evening. Our apologies for descending upon you, but can you accommodate a party of 15 tonight?"

She glanced around at the mostly empty tables. "Some nights," she muttered before smiling warmly. "Just give me a moment to set up a table, ok?"

"Of course."

The restaurant was mostly empty. There were three or four couples dotting the room, but there were also two other large parties. One was a group of middle aged people, dressed in office-wear, and sharing several plates of appetizers and a pitcher of green liquid. The other group were all younger women, dressed for a night on the town, and laughing loudly. One of them was wearing a bridal veil.

"This way, please," the hostess said in short order, and led them to a set of tables that had been pushed together.

" _Jackpot_!" Nobu said, in German, to William. " _It's karaoke night_!"

"Excuse me, miss." William caught the hostess before she could leave. "What time does the karaoke begin?"

"At 8, hon. There's a couple song lists on the table, but you all could probably use a couple more."

"Yes. Do we program the machine ourselves?"

"Oh, no! The DJ handles that for you. There are some sign up slips on the table."

"William," Joey called out. "Quit hittin' on the waitress and sit."

The boy blushed as the woman tried not to grin.

"Papa!" William rolled his eyes as he sat. "So embarrassing!"

"Ok, Johnson, let me tell you upfront." Ryuji picked up the drink menu. "The rule is no business talk after they leave the office. Otherwise, these three would never discuss anything else." He looked curious. "We haven't actually met yet, have we?"

"No, but -"

"Johnson, forgive me!" Ryou gasped. "We've spent so much time together this week, that I have quite forgotten my manners."

"Oh no, really I -"

"I'll go around the table. You know Kaiba-sama, Anzu and myself. This gentleman is my husband, Otogi. Beside Anzu, is her husband, Honda. On Kaiba-sama's left is his partner Mutou; to his right is his partner Jounouchi."

"No need to be formal," Joey stood and offered a handshake across the table. "Call me Joey."

Johnson took the hand. "In that case, I'm Chaz."

When they were seated again, Ryou continued. "At the far end of the table are the Mutous. You may know them as the 'Pegasus Pair'."

"Legends in the dueling world." Johnson nodded toward them. "It's an honor."

"Call me Yugi; everyone does." He also offered a handshake.

"And finally, the children. In the order seated are: William, Nobu, Hianko, Auset, and Valentine. And I would love to tell you who belongs to whom, but frankly, I think they all trade houses when I'm not looking."

Most of the table laughed, but a very serious looking Valentine tugged Johnson's sleeve.

"I don't trade," she said. "That's my mommy and daddy." She pointed to the Mutous.

"Oh, well, thank you for telling me." Johnson smiled graciously.

"Hi!" a new voice said. They all turned to see their waiter. "I'm Ty; do you all need another few minutes with the menus?"

"No," Honda stated. "Anyone who doesn't order now isn't hungry. What's the darkest beer you have on tap?"

Honda and Ty worked out what beer went with which burger. Anzu, Mai and Yugi ordered fairly quickly as well.

" _Dragon_ ," Yami handed the menu past Seto to Joey. " _I can't read half of that_ ," he said in Japanese. " _Order something I'll like_."

Joey smiled gently. " _Sure_. Sorry, bad English. He'll have the salmon and I'll go with the Ray Burger."

"Got it. For you, sir?" He went around the next few fairly quickly.

When he got to William, Joey said, "Cobb salad."

William's mouth was open, but he snapped it shut. He flipped a page on the menu. "Is the curry chicken sweet or spicy?"

"It's pretty spicy," Ty said.

"Indian spicy or American spicy."

Ty laughed. "I have no idea. Too spicy for me."

"Fine. The curry." William pulled out one ear of headphones Nobu had put on. "Order."

"What are you having?"

"Curry."

Nobu gagged. "Too spicy. Cheese pizza."

Seto pulled out his wallet and handed Joey a yen.

When Ty got down the table to Valentine, she looked at Johnson, "What are you having?"

He smiled at her then looked at Ty. "I'll have the pot roast, with baked."

"Sure thing."

"Mommy, can I have -"

"No!" Mai rolled her eyes as several people around the table chuckled. "She will have the chicken fingers."

"So Mr. Kaiba -" Johnson began when Ty had all the food and drink orders and headed off.

"I think we can dispense with the formalities, Johnson. Kaiba is sufficient."

"- uh. Oh. Ok. Kaiba, uh -"

"It's a Japanese thing," Joey laughed. "Most people go by just their last name. Me and Honda go way back, and I still only use his first name when..." Joey paused and looked thoughtful. "Come to think of it, have I ever?"

"I don't think so." Honda seemed to think about it too. "I think I might have used yours once."

"Whatever," Joey chuckled. "At any rate, by letting you skip the title, Moneybags is trying hard to be casual and friendly."

"Ah. I see." Johnson smiled. "Thank you, Kaiba."

"You're welcome." Seto gave Joey a stern look. "Must you call me that?"

"What, 'moneybags'?" Joey grinned. "Yeah." He kissed Seto's cheek. "Quit being a grump. I don't need two of you." He gestured to Auset.

Hianko and Auset were sharing headphones and staring at a cell phone.

"Ladies!" Anzu snapped. "No phones at dinner."

"Nobu's got his!" Hianko accused.

"He's picking songs," William said.

"He's what?" Yugi looked confused. "They're all in the book, aren't they?"

"They're all American," William pointed out. "Nobu's going through YouTube to see which ones he knows."

"Nobuyuki is a musical savant," Seto explained to Johnson. "I shouldn't be surprised if he selects a song he's never heard before tonight."

"And sing it in front of strangers?" Johnson looked impressed. "Your children are braver than I am! So are they all bilingual?"

"Bi!" William sounded outraged.

"Wolf," Joey's voice held a note of caution. "Bring it down."

"Most of the children are tri-lingual." Ryou gestured. "Everyone in the house speaks Japanese and English."

"Except King Tut over here," Joey snickered. "He's still working on English."

"Oh?"

"Didn't exist in his day." Joey smirked.

"My English limited," Yami agreed, "but some I comprehend. You will cost for that."

"William, I believe, speaks at least six languages fluently." Ryou continued as if the others had not spoken. "And several others quite well."

"Yes, he can say 'hated it' in every language except Klingon," Otogi quipped.

"' _oH muS_ ," William said in Klingon.

"That's amazing!" Johnson shook his head. "I took Spanish in high school and still have trouble ordering in Mexican restaurants."

"There are differences between Spanish spoken in -"

"OMG, Will!" Auset threw a golf pencil down the table at him. "No one cares!"

"Hey! No throwing!" Mai snapped.

Nobu picked up the pencil. "Slip." Hianko gave him a handful. He took one and began writing.

"What?" Both of the girls tried to see.

"Something?" William was in a better position. "Beetles has two 'e's."

"Ah." Johnson seemed impressed. "A classic."

"OK!" Ty and two other waiters managed to sneak up on the group. "Let's see. The pretty little lady is having the chicken. Salmon for this lady and those two...." The waiters served everyone, even leaving a small bowl of dried peppers for William and extra napkins for the table.

" _Does it meet your approval, daughter_?" Yami teased as Auset took another large bite from her crab cake.

She blushed faintly, but tried to retain her air of teenage rebel. " _It's alright, I guess_." She looked at Johnson. "Dad asked if I liked the crab cakes. These are acceptable, but the ones in Baltimore last year were better."

Otogi groaned. "She's like his clone!" He looked down the table to Seto. "Does your dinner meet with your approval?"

"Well, it's not the worst meal I've ever paid for," he replied breezily. "But as I recall, my daughter proclaimed the crab cakes at the Inner Harbor 'overrated' and declared that we should never eat there again. If those were better perhaps you shouldn't finish these."

"I'll take them." Honda and Joey both reached for the plate as Auset pulled it closer to protect it.

"Of course, Johnson, you understand that I'm quite old." Seto tried and failed to hide his grin. "I may be misremembering the conversation."

Most of the table was snickering as Auset sulked back in her seat, muttering, "My family sucks!"

Otogi pointed with his fork. "That right there is why we will never have one."

"That right there is why I didn't want one," Mai agreed. "I could ditch the shrimp and we could catch the next flight?"

"Deal, but I need to pick up a few toys at the hotel first."

"OMG!" Hianko gasped. "Can we not discuss sex at at least one meal?"

"What?" Johnson exclaimed, shocked, as Honda barked, "Watch it, Missy!"

"Good evening and Happy Thursday!" a woman said over the restaurant's speakers. She was standing next to a small stage area near the center of the room. "DJ JJ is in the house, and he and me - I'm TeeTee - are gonna get tonight's Karaoke Call Out: The Women versus The Men started in about half an hour." The two other large parties began cheering. "Ladies, I am counting on y'all; the fellas got kinda uppity last month. We can't have that twice in a row, right?" There were shouts of female agreement drowning out the few male voices. "Alright! The signup box is here, just drop your selection in, and I will see you in thirty."

"How are we doing over here?" Ty asked. "Refresh any drinks?"

"Please." Yugi held up his glass. "And did she just say this is a contest?"

"Just for bragging rights."

Mai and Yugi gave each other appraising looks.

"Do you have to be good?" Mai asked.

"Oh God no!" Ty laughed. "Last month the guys won with the 'Skins fight song. They're a local football team."

"So not good, just loud?" Mai opened the song list and began rapidly flipping pages. She stopped on a page and grinned evilly at her husband. "You have already lost. Can I get a pitcher of margaritas?" She got up and moved to the other end of the table.

"Oh it is so on!" Yugi declared while grabbing another copy of the song list.

"Move," Mai told Honda. "This is war. We girls need to talk. Come over here with Mommy, sweetie."

All of the girls joined their mothers and displaced the guys.

"Ryou, we are not losing," Yugi glowered. "You and Nobu can handle this, right?"

"Alone?"

"Oh of course not! They have 'Gangnam Style' - even I can sing that."

"Can we get another round?" Honda called out to Ty.

"Still wanna hang out with us, Chaz?" Joey laughed. "These guys get crazy competitive."

"So I see." He looked at the 'enemy camp'. Even Auset was pointing to songs and looking enthusiastic.

"Whoa!" Nobu suddenly yelled. "I didn't know there was an English version of this!" He took off the headphones, moved to Ryou, and placed them on the white haired man.

"Oh that brings back memories." He smiled gently. "Yes, I'll definitely sing that." He gave Nobu back the headphones. "I wonder if they have...."

Other people began putting slips in the box, so William picked up the titles they had selected and headed over. Hianko joined him and dropped in several slips.

"What are you gonna do?"

"I didn't see anything I knew."

"There's a whole page of Spanish stuff."

William frowned. At the table he took the song book from his brother and checked the index. Then he rolled his eyes and hit Nobu in the head with the book.

Most of the men in the group tried not to laugh at the boys.

" _I trust there was a reason for that._ " Yami didn't quite grin.

"He could have said something." William was filling out a slip. "If I have to do this, he could have at least mentioned one of my favorite songs was on the list."

“If you don’t want to sing, William, don’t think you’re alone.” Chaz laughed. “Wild dogs won’t get me on a stage with a mic!”

“If you really don’t want to.” Joey shrugged. “Well, I’m not going to make you participate in a family outing.”

William rolled his eyes again. “No, Papa, I want to get up in a room full of strangers and prove I can't sing,” he said mechanically. “That sounds like so much fun.” He snatched up his slip and stalked over to the DJ stand.

Joey chuckled. “Works every time.”

Note: The additions below are in no specific order and will be part of the story as they fit in. Numbers are possible sequential order.

Table 1 - cast

Anzu - I will survive  
Jou - Private eyes  
10 Seto - Mickey  
"Ok! Coming up next, we got something special." DJ JJ announced.  
"It's been hot tonight!" TT added.  
"Yeah, y'all made Ray's Karaoke Call Out the place to be tonight! But next we got Miss Bride-to-be Emily and the squad with Mickey!"  
"Make some noise!" TT prompted, but the audience was already cheering as Emily, Seto and the others who'd vanished jogged on stage carrying fluffed up napkins instead of pompoms.  
"Oh Mickey/You're so fine/You're so fine/You blow my mind/"  
The bride sang the lead and everyone else did a very uncoordinated cheer routine. What it lacked quality, it more than made up with enthusiasm and laughter.  
Two of the women did cartwheels and one did a full split, but Seto and another woman stole the show with shoulder stand that actually tapped the room's ceiling. She did a forward roll to dismount. Seto did a backflip.  
The audience roared and a few wolf whistles were mixed in.  
Seto walked gingerly back to the table - after suffering a few hugs from his new 'girlfriends'. "Should have changed my shoes for that." He winced. "I forgot about doing flips in Italian hard soles."

Yami  
Honda  
Otogi  
9 Ryou - Sukiyaki  
"Next up is r-you - rye-u? - TT, they are killin' me with these names tonight!"  
"Ryou. It's Ryou to sing Sukiyaki." TT scolded. "You need to get out of 'souff eass', my brother."  
"Tsk! Forget you girl!" DJ JJ waved her off. "Give it up for Ree-u!"  
There was some applause, and then some appreciative murmuring as he bowed to the audience.  
Then, he picked up the mic and walked over to the bride.  
"It's all because of you/I'm feeling sad and blue" he sang. "You went away/Now my life is just a rainy day."  
The women at the table cheered and laughed.  
"Trade up!" One told the bride.  
"Show off!" Otogi yelled.  
Ryou played the role of the song through to the end. He even sang part of it in Japanese - to the swooning approval of the bride's party.  
"....Oh baby/You took your love away from me." He finished. Then he took the bride's hand and kissed her palm. "Sayonara." He bowed to her as the room broke into thunderous applause.  
"Oh, damn!" TT said. "Ryou, if I get married, will you sing to me?"  
"Of course!" He replied, grinning.  
"Can I marry you?"  
"You'll have to ask my husband."  
"Damn!" TT lamented. "All the good ones taken." She looked at DJ JJ. "Why can't you sing?"  
"You just jealous 'cause the fellas 'bout to win this!" He laughed. "All the boys in the house say 'boo-ya'!"  
"BOO-YA!"

7 Yugi - Gangnam Style  
"Next coming to the stage, tonight, on this very special night at Ray's we have Hugo! Come on, my man Hugo!" No one moved toward the stage. "Hugo, don't leave me hanging, bro! Hugo, with Gangnam Style."  
"Hugo," Honda yelled out, "or Yugi?"  
"Hu-" DJ JJ picked up the slip. "How's that gonna be some damn.... Tsk!" He walked over to the table and showed Honda the slip. "What's that look like to you?"  
"Yugi."  
"Yugi. U-g-e-e?"  
"Y-u-g-i."  
"U-gi."  
"Yeah."  
"Are you U-gi?"  
"No, him." He pointed to Yugi, who was just returning from the bathroom.  
"My man U-gi!" The DJ crowed. "You ready to sing for us, man?" He dropped his arm around the shorter man's shoulder and put the mic in front of him.  
He caught Yugi by surprise, but the duelist recovered almost immediately.  
"Oh, I am ready!"  
"You know the ladies been tearin' it up tonight, right? You know we fallin' behind here?"  
"They've been good." Yugi agreed.  
"You gonna rally the troupes? You gonna get the boys fired up?"  
"I'll try!" Yugi laughed.  
The DJ let him go. "Ladies and gentlemen, coming to the mic next, coming to the rescue, coming to Ray's stage tonight, my man U-gi and Gangnam Style.  
Yugi stepped on the stage wearing a pair of dark sunglasses. Laughter and cheers broke out around the room. Two of the men from the office party joined Yugi on stage and began doing the Gangnam dance behind them. After a minute, Ryuji joined them with the 'elevator' dance.  
Even JJ and TT were laughing by the time the song ended. The men in the room cheered loudly as the women tried to boo.

12 Hianko 11 -  
"Don't play like you gonna win this." TT told DJ JJ. "We 'bout to set it off!"  
"Yeah? What you think you got?"  
"I got a rump shaker coming up next!"  
"For real?"  
"You better step off, playa!"  
"Alright, Miss TT, what you got?"  
"I got Honda with Hello Kitty!"

8 Mai -  
5 William 11 - Fernando  
8 Auset 15 - shake it off  
12 Valentine 8 - Let It Go  
1 Nobu 8 - something  
Chaz

Table 2 - office night

6 Lakisha - I will survive  
"Alright, alright," TT grinned. "The fellas got some game tonight. But it's about to get real up in here."  
"Oh, you think?" DJ JJ snickered.  
"Oh, I know. 'Cause, uh, I got two names for one song, and I know my girls gonna tear it up! All the sista say 'Ay-yo'!"  
"AY-YO!"  
"That's my girls! Coming up, ladies and gentlemen can I get some love for Lakisha and Anzu!"  
"Oh!" Anzu hesitated. "If someone else wants to -"  
"Ain't no thing, girlfriend!" TT encouraged. "We all friends up in here; y'all can sing it together."  
"But...."  
"It's ok if you're afraid, honey." Honda smirked. "We get it."  
She glared at him. "When we win, you are doing the dishes for a month!" She marched to the stage as the table laughed.  
"Hi." Lakisha said and handed Anzu a second mic. "You want to alternate lines?"  
"Sure." She smiled sheepishly. "Do you mind starting?"  
"Sure." The woman looked at the DJ. "OK. We're ready."  
The song's intro played a short piano bar and several women cheered as most of the men groaned.  
"First night when you left me I was petrified/I thought that I could never live without you by my side" Lakisha sang.  
"But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong/And I grew strong/And I learned how to live alone" Anzu  
As the music picked up in tempo, many of the women in the room got up to dance and sing along. By the time they got to the second chorus, even Ryuji and Honda were dancing and singing.  
As the song faded out, DJ JJ picked up the mic again. "Anzu and Lakisha! Give it up, people!" The audience cheered even louder and, impulsively, Lakisha hugged Anzu.  
"Yeah!" Honda yelled!  
"Never happen!" Joey laughed.  
"Let a guy dream, dude!" Honda replied.

4 Vonnie - it's raining men  
Ryuji choked on his drink and spent a minute or so coughing.  
" _Bad drink_?" Yami asked.  
"O.M.G." Ryuji gasped as he cleared his throat. "I heard this at a club in San Francisco years ago! I thought I was high! William, go ask the DJ what this is; I want a copy of it."

Tae-Tae - it's all about that base  
"Not a fan of this one, huh?" Johnson laughed at Nobu's expression.  
"Well, I like the melody. I mean the music itself is pretty cool, but the lyrics don't make sense."  
"Ah!" Johnson and a few of the other men at the table exchanged amused glances. "There's a grown up meaning that she's -"  
"Oh, I get that she's using the base clef as a metaphor for sex. I just don't get image. I think she's got it confused."  
"...uh...oh..."  
"Confused, huh?" Jou grinned. "Ok, explain what she got wrong."  
"Women look like the treble clef, not the base. And neither of them look like a, well a you-know-what."  
"Yeah, I know." Jou chuckled. "So?"  
"So, she's saying she's all about butts!" Nobu shook his head, "I mean, unless the original singer is a guy - I mean, I could see Uncle Ru-ji singing it."  
"Thank you, God!" Honda put his hands together and looked up. "One of our kids is still a kid."  
"I caught on to it in high school." Yugi leaned over to Nobu. "Trust me, it's one of those biochemical things. One day it's just going to suddenly make sense."  
Nobu shook his head. "Adults are kinda stupid sometimes." He muttered as he went back to the song list.

Pam -  
Rokiya  
3 Ed - chumbawamba  
13 Paul - baby got back  
11 Mike -

Table 3 - bridal shower

10 Emmie (bride) - Mickey  
"Excuse me," one of the women from the bridal shower leaned near Anzu and Mai. "Were either of you cheerleaders?"  
"Oh God no!" Mai sounded horrified. "Not at my school."  
"Sorry." Anzu was more gentle. "Actually, I think he was the only one of us." She pointed to Seto.  
"Dad?" Auset sounded surprised.  
"No. Tak!" Anzu had to shout to be heard. "Tak! They need a cheerleader."  
Seto looked at Anzu for a moment, then nodded. "Alright."  
Most of the adults laughed, but Johnson and the children stared in disbelief as Seto took off his jacket and tie. He went off with several of the women from both of the other tables. [Another song here]

14 Molina - girls just wanna have fun  
2 Jolene - I still believe  
Seto read the lyrics as they scrolled and quickly pulled both Jou and Yami's attention to the screen.  
" _Did you catch that_?" He asked them, deliberately switching to Japanese.  
" _No, what did it say_?" Jou replied.  
" _If there's one spark of hope left in my grasp/I'll hold it with both hands/_ " Seto took their hands in his own, smiling warmly. " _It's worth the risk of burning/To have a second chance_."  
The three men smiled at each other for a moment.  
" _No one would notice if we used the restroom_." Yami purred, in Coptic. " _We could time jump and return before we left._ "  
" _Anzu would quite literally kill us_." Seto pointed out.  
"I'm gonna go find out what that is," Jou laughed, in English. "Before you two get us arrested."

Lois - through the fire  
Margie  
Frannie -


End file.
